Emerging From The Darkness

Posted by Jo Deakin on

If you are like me, your head may well be in a spin, with an underlaying feeling of  anticipation and excitement as the continued love for the cosy nights in remains, mixed with the feeling of longing for lighter, brighter and easier Covid-free days ahead.

This feeling has sent me into an organising frenzy as I try to have everything in life 'ready' for the season change.  I have been spending quite a lot of time 'organising' life and not quite jumping into it, if that makes sense?!  There isn't a cupboard in any of our bedrooms that doesn't now have only clothes that fit the children, or that I know I am going to keep wearing.  I have been ruthless, everything else has gone to happy homes, or the charity shop, satisfying or what?!

However, there are still so many areas of the house and life that are not in the same order.  This time of year, as the season starts to change towards Spring, and the feeling of warmth, light and air begin to creep in, I feel myself needing to calm down and keep grounded.  I can feel speedy days creeping in and the year flashing before my eyes already.

The pressure to 'get things done', tick off the to-do list until it is an empty piece of paper (never going to happen), have an empty inbox and a clean desk (and house), see friends and family, book holidays...it all seems to be in sharp focus for so many of us.  The daily grind to strive for perfection is quite frankly wearing thin on me.  Am I getting older or just the only one, but I really feel like now more than ever, I need to get real about just what I am expecting of myself, life and work goals, anyone else?

I worry if I am not careful that by the time I think I have got to a position or time in life when I can really start to 'achieve', the moment will have gone.  Because put very simply, that moment is never going to arrive!  The to-do list will be there forever, the goal posts will always move depending on the stage of life at the time, and on the point of time, it goes so flipping fast, if we don't grab on and go for it now, it will literally all pass us by.

Big talk I know but this year feels very poignant for me as I transition towards full grown up age (big birthday next year!).  My children are heart-breakingly not babies but actually mini people, who have dreams and thoughts of their own now.  I have huge hopes and dreams for Jo D's future and we all really want and deserve to emerge, at our own paces, out of this dark two years and step confidently into the future, with optimism, strength but a sense of calm too.

For me I really am trying to focus on being ok with not having it all done, ticked, neat, tidy, and as close to perfection as is humanly possible.  I know I am, like lots of others, quite hard on myself and if things need doing I am your person.  However, from the very small changes I have begun to adpot this year, there seems to be a lot of empowerment, clarity, liberation and peace that comes with allowing myself to drop the balls that bounce, in order to keep the breakable ones from smashing.

My focus is on small wins, little gains, in the hope that the big triumphs come more freely.  This seems to tie in so neatly with the desire to slow down, our ethos that we always chant about allowing yourself time, to think, enjoy the process and go easy on yourself creating space and freedom to get a few good things done each day.

Organisation and productivity are some of the biggest focuses in life for me.  They ultimately help to make life easier and being productive is really the only option for me.  However I need to choose my daily productivity wisely and go all in when the time is right, but also remember to be ok with things not always going the way you planned.

If you promised yourself at the beginning of the year you would adopt a new morning routine, take up a new hobby, meditate, eat a healthy breakfast and glide out of the door every morning (!) and you have only managed one thing once, twice or daily ish, that is all beyond fine in my eyes.

Wise words, let's see if I can stick to them, wish me luck!  And remember to slow down and sip Jo x


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